Magic Miles
by 6GunSally
Summary: Edgeworth discovers the magic of Halloween. Will he ever live down the horror? This is a short story I wrote for Halloween, but I went and posted early. I hope this is as scary for you as it was for Edgeworth... Now complete! Please tell me what you think.
1. Act One: The Set Up

_**Disclaimer: Ace Attorney and all characters are copyright by CAPCOM; I'm just a fan imitating. The stories presented are influenced by the multiple games as well as the comic (Manga written by Kenji Kuroda).**_

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**Act One: The Setup**

Miles Edgeworth did not party. He did not wear costumes and pretend to be something that he was not. It wasn't in his nature.

So one could imagine his reaction when, while standing in the lobby of the district courthouse awaiting the verdict in his latest case, he was approached by a certain bumbling detective and a young woman he hadn't seen for the last several months.

"Mister Edgeworth! Guess who I found lurking around in the reading room?"

Edgeworth flicked his glance toward the grinning Kay Faraday before meeting Detective Gumshoe's vapid stare, "You don't really mean you want me to guess?"

Gumshoe deflated where he stood, "Sir, I thought you'd be happy to see Kay again. You haven't seen each other in a good long while."

"Good day to you, Miss Faraday."

"Aw Mister Edgeworth," she punched him playfully in the arm and he stiffened, "Kay is fine. How have you been?"

"I've been very well, thank you." He eyed her suspiciously. What was the Great Thief Yatagarasu doing in the district courthouse on today of all days?

"Um, Miss Fara—Kay, what are you doing here in the courthouse?"

"Oh you know, just hanging out," she said, "Then I ran into Gummy and I just had to swing by and say 'hi'."

"Hmm…" Edgeworth said, "I suppose there's nothing wrong with spending time at the courthouse. When I was your age, I was in court almost everyday."

Kay made a face at him, "That's really sad Mister Edgeworth… And sort of lame. You're such an old fogey…"

"I'm not—! What's a fogey?"

"Wow, Mister Edgeworth," Detective Gumshoe said. His shoulders were shaking in silent laughter, "What did you do for fun?"

Edgeworth glared at him, "But it was fun…"

"Speaking of fun," Kay said, "Gummy wants to ask you a question."

"Huh? I do?"

Kay glared at him pointedly and jerked her head toward the prosecutor.

"Oh," Gumshoe chuckled conspiratorially. Edgeworth suddenly had a sinking feeling in his stomach.

"Maggey and I are having a costume party for Halloween," Gumshoe said, "We were hoping you'd make an appearance."

Edgeworth glared at him and then at Kay, "Hallow-what-now?"

"Oh this is so horrible!" Kay exclaimed and startled him—she mocked looking overcome with emotion, "You're even more lame than I thought."

"I'll have you know—" Edgeworth began defensively, but Gumshoe stopped him.

"Everyone is going to be there, sir," Gumshoe said, "You really should come."

"I don't like parties," Edgeworth said and crossed his arms, "I don't think I'll be coming."

"But you've never been to a Halloween party—you'll love it!" Kay said, "Don't you think it'll be fun to dress up and hang out with your friends?"

My friends? Edgeworth looked at her, "Obviously, I'm no stranger to dressing up. I don't see how that's any different than—"

"Not dress up fancy, sir," Gumshoe interjected, "You have to dress up in costume."

Edgeworth paused again and glared at the two of them, "Do you mean like a masquerade?"

"A what?" Gumshoe said.

"Never mind," Edgeworth said, "Still, I don't think I'll be attending. You will send my regards to Miss Byrde—I do appreciate the thought."

"But Mister Edgeworth—"

"Sir, you can spare one—"

"I said no," Edgeworth said, "Now, if you will excuse me, I have work to do."

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_**A/N: Thanks for Reading! I wrote this for Halloween, but I missed last year and this year it's taking way to long to happen. So you get it early, because I just can't help myself.**_

_This is a short and will be complete in four updates. I had a ton of fun writing this-it made me laugh like Calisto Yew... I hope you like it too!_

_(whoa-I won't make a crack about poetry...)_


	2. Act Two: The Exposition

**Act 2: The Exposition**

I can't believe they talked me into this, he thought in dismay. He was standing beside Detective Gumshoe—in the middle of an investigation no less!—while the latter perused a shelf of costume masks.

At least he'd finally solved the mystery of all the orange and black that decked the store fronts every October. Not that he ever cared enough to ask.

"Gumshoe," Edgeworth said stiffly, "Let's get back to the crime scene."

"You've only got a few days left, and you still haven't decided on a costume," Gumshoe said with sincere concern.

Edgeworth grimaced, "Never mind docking your pay, I'll see you fired!"

"GAH!" Gumshoe shrank into his dirty trench coat, "Mister Edgeworth, you wouldn't!"

"Do you really want to test that theory?"

Gumshoe stared up at him with sagging puppy dog eyes.

Edgeworth merely turned and marched back toward the perimeter cordoned off by yellow police tape and stepped through. The body was dressed in black sweats and an overlarge gray sweatshirt. His face was obscured by rubber mask depicting what looked like a smiling bear dog thing. There was an ear-hole in the mask leaking blood. The synthetic plastic fur was matted with blood. Edgeworth glanced down at the sandaled feet of the victim. He shuddered.

He almost jumped when Gumshoe's shadow fell over him.

"Hey, that looks like Phoenix Wright!" Gumshoe exclaimed excitedly before realizing what he'd just said. Edgeworth frowned at the body and stared for several moments more before walking away.

"Wright's gigantic head would never fit in a mask like that," he said dismissively, secretly hoping he was correct.

"He said he was going to be a werewolf," Gumshoe said and scratched his head.

"Hmm…" Edgeworth said and they joined several crime scene investigators at the van set up as the control point. He grabbed one of the tiny Styrofoam cups stacked near one of several to-go coffee dispensers set up for investigators.

"You invited Wright as well?"

"I invited everyone!"

"Hmm…" Edgeworth sipped his coffee and made a face. He was in the middle of taking another sip when he jumped up suddenly crushing the cup in his hand.

"Gah!" he exclaimed when the coffee burned his hand.

"Mister Edge—"

Edgeworth ran back toward the perimeter, "Is there an identity on the victim, yet?"

One of the detectives, a woman he recognized, but whose name he'd forgotten, stood and approached him.

"Not yet," she said soberly, "She doesn't match any of the missing persons reports either."

"Oh," Edgeworth said, "It's a woman…"

"She," the investigator said, "'It's' that's a little cold, don't you think?"

Edgeworth gave her a look before turning away—she's dead anyway.

"Come along Gumshoe," he said, "We should stop by the precinct—I just realized something…"

"Does it have anything to do with finding a costume, Pal?"

"Gumshoe, twenty dollars," Edgeworth said pointedly and jabbed a finger in his direction.

"What? Mister Edgeworth, sir…"

"That's how much I'm going to dock from your monthly pay for each mention of finding a costume for this… Halloween… Thing…"

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_**A/N: Thanks for reading! Please review? Pretty Please?**_

_Edgeworth is such a meanie to Gumshoe..._


	3. Act Three: The Costume

**Act 3: The Costume**

"Tonight?" Edgeworth was honestly surprised.

"Yeah, sir," Gumshoe said, "Did you get a costume?"

Edgeworth was staring at his desk and shuffling through the papers laid out on it, "But that means… Tomorrow is the first of November! We're going to trial in less than forty-eight hours!"

"Mister Edgeworth!" Gumshoe's face was scrunched up with panic and concern, "What about your costume for tonight?"

"Simple," Edgeworth said, "I'll be going as the top prosecutor in the country."

"No way, Pal!" Gumshoe said he glared hard enough to make Edgeworth take a step back.

"Stand down," Edgeworth shouted at him, "Really, Gumshoe—I should have them take your Christmas bonus just for that…"

"My Christmas bonus? B-b-buh but sir, Maggey and I—"

Edgeworth made an irritated noise and went back to rearranging the documents on his desk.

"Just let me finish this here," Edgeworth said, "I'm sure we can find something on the way."

"Wait, so you don't have a costume? We're not going to find anything this late in the game! You'll end up looking lame in whatever's left hanging up in the store."

"Is it really so important, Gumshoe?"

The detective gave him a look soggy with disappointment.

"You're the best, Mister Edgeworth. You have to have the best costume at the party."

Edgeworth stared at the big man with a mixture of shock and horror and felt the smallest twinge of guilt poke at the back of his mind. Then he forced a smile and went back to organizing his case file.

"You needn't worry, Gumshoe," Edgeworth said, "I'm sure you'll come up with something grand."

Gumshoe looked like he was about to faint from happiness. Edgeworth frowned at him and started piling his papers together. How did they ever talk him into this?

When they left the prosecutor's building, Gumshoe was brimming with excitement.

"Before we go to the store, I have to grab something at the precinct first."

Edgeworth brightened slightly, "Well, I won't argue there. Perhaps I can go through the evidence—"

"No way, Pal!" Gumshoe said, "You're done working for today. We have a party to get to."

Don't remind me. Edgeworth thought sullenly as Gumshoe navigated the unmarked Crown Vic he drove as his issue.

The police station was brimming with activity when they entered.

"A lot of things happen on Halloween," Gumshoe volunteered, even though Edgeworth was sure he hadn't asked—because he didn't care.

Criminal Affairs, on the other hand, was nearly deserted. They walked through the nearly deserted floor into a small recess in the back of the wide open floored work area.

"I had to borrow a boom box from one of the other guys… Mine doesn't work anymore," again, unsolicited information.

Gumshoe opened his locker. It was completely empty except for a fishing pole, said boom box, and—

"Is that your service uniform?" Edgeworth asked.

Gumshoe startled and looked at him, "Uh, yeah sir. I'm a police officer."

Edgeworth looked at him with his eyebrows raised, "I've never seen you in uniform."

Gumshoe chuckled sheepishly and scratched his head, "Well… Um… It sort of… Well, it doesn't fit—wait!"

"Gah!" Edgeworth backed into the wall when Gumshoe rounded on him. Gumshoe's wide-eyed stare and vapid grin told him that the detective just had an idea. I hope he didn't hurt himself, Edgeworth thought and tried to look as if he hadn't noticed the Detective's epiphany.

"You could dress like a cop!"

"What?"

Gumshoe tore the trousers of his uniform out of the locker and held it up in front of the prosecutor.

"These don't fit me anymore, but maybe you—"

"What? I can go swimming in these—they're huge!"

"Sorry Pal," Gumshoe said sheepishly, "You always seem bigger than life."

Edgeworth flinched. What was with all of the sycophantic remarks—this was starting to get really awkward.

Gumshoe handed Edgeworth a boom box and tossed his uniform back inside before closing his locker. Then he dashed away around the corner.

"Gumshoe—?!"

"Hang on, Mister Edgeworth!"

He returned with a neatly folded uniform and a hat.

"We keep these for spares or new issue—I think this set will—"

"I don't feel comfortable impersonating a police officer—"

"It's a Halloween costume, Pal. It's not like I'm giving you a badge or anything."

"I'll thank you not to take that tone with me, Detective."

"Let's go—we're already going to be late."

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_**A/N: Thanks for Reading!**_

_**I was going to spread these chapters out to keep the story on top of the queue longer... But, in the end, I'd rather the story out than get the views... **_

_it's probably why no one reads these..._

_When I get all of the covers drawn and uploaded, you'll see Edgeworth's cop costume... He pulls it off nicely *cough* ahem..._


	4. Act Four: The Punchline

**Act Four: The Punchline**

Edgeworth frowned at his reflection in the mirror—the uniform was snug. He never wore anything that wasn't tailored specifically to him. This… This made him feel fat.

He put on the hat and turned to look at himself from the side—it would have to do. He was only going to make an appearance and then leave anyway.

Edgeworth hadn't felt obligated to do even that much, and he only the allowed the costume shopping to occur as a way to placate the Detective. Unfortunately, he was still holding that dammed boom box when Gumshoe returned him to the prosecutor's building and peeled off without a backward glance.

Edgeworth had made it all the way to his front door before the detective called to ask him to please bring it when he arrived. Now Edgeworth didn't have the option of blowing the whole thing off.

How did you get yourself into this? Well, he'd come out the hero when he arrived with that boom box—Gumshoe seemed to think it was very important. They would all be there. All of the people that knew him. His friends. Even if all he did was drop off the stupid boom box, he'd come out the hero.

'Stop trying to rationalize this idiotic situation, Miles Edgeworth,' his conscience screeched at him—reminding him an awful lot of Franziska. Thank God she'd gone off to Zheng Fa—she'd whip him to pieces if she knew about this.

He made sure to grab the boom box on his way out.

He managed to find the apartment complex without too much trouble—the apartment itself would be the bigger challenge, however. Gumshoe had drawn him a map on a greasy old napkin, sheepishly admitting that it was 'a little hard' to find.

Edgeworth studied the napkin for a good long while turning it in his hands. This was so gross. Eventually, he decided to get out of the car and figure it out on foot. He shoved the nasty map into his pocket and grabbed the boom box and the hat.

He felt stupid walking across the parking lot and into the complex dressed like a cop. What if someone stopped him to report a crime—well, he could manage that—but what if he had to arrest someone—oh wait, he had that authority, too—but what if—?

'Foolish fool…'

Gah! Why did he think that all of a sudden?

When he'd arrived at the block indicated by the crude map, Edgeworth pulled the napkin back out of his pocket and stared. Was that a 'B' or a 'D'? Gumshoe really needed to work on his penmanship. Edgeworth fumbled for his phone.

When the other end picked up he was met by a confused whir of noise and static. Gumshoe and his stupid cheap phone.

"Is it Bee or Dee?" Edgeworth asked.

"…fzzzsst… as in …fzzsst…"

"What?"

"What?"

"You're breaking up! Just come outside so I know which apartment is yours!"

"…fzzsst… urgh… fzzsst… you…"

Bloody hell.

"Gumshoe! Is it eleven Bee or eleven Dee?"

"…fzzsst… Eeh…"

"Eleven E?"

"…fzsst…"

"What?"

"…fsszzt… esss."

Edgeworth ended the call and slipped his phone back into his pocket. This better be worth it. He crossed the block and knocked on the door to apartment eleven 'E'.

The girl that answered the door was dressed like a witch and Edgeworth couldn't recognize her for all of her make-up. He held up the boom box.

Another woman further inside the apartment screamed. Edgeworth froze—what was going on—?

He was yanked into the apartment and the door slammed behind him. He looked around—everyone looked so weird in costume. Gumshoe was nowhere—wait, where were all the other guys?

Someone grabbed the boom box from him.

"It's empty," she said.

"Here," another woman said, "put this on."

"You're early," yet another woman appeared behind him and started shoving him further into the apartment.

"I'm what?"

Someone clicked on the music and turned it up so loud he couldn't hear his own voice. The women packed themselves into the room surrounding him. He was starting to sweat.

The music pulsed around him, pounding in his head.

_"…when I walk on by… girls be looking like they be fly…"_

What the hell was this?!

"…_ah…girl look at that body… ah… girl look at that body_…"

The women were screaming at him, but he couldn't understand what they were saying. Someone came up behind him and started grinding against him forcing him to move with her. And the horrid music.

"…_I work out_…"

The air in the place was starting to feel damp and suffocating. Something hanging from ceiling whacked him in the face as he tried to get away from the press of women. It was a plastic bat. Edgeworth let out a shout.

"_...I'm sexy and I know it..._"

The women were clapping along-some of them and making rude comments about his appearance and his costume. Edgeworth was defensive about it, and for a moment he planted his feet and raised his hand index finger extended to scold the lot of them for their vulgar actions.

"See here...!" He said. But no one could hear him.

They started tugging at his shirt where it was tucked into his belt. Edgeworth wanted to scream—he was screaming. No one could hear him.

No one could hear him.

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_**A/N: Thanks for reading! We are all done with this story, feedback is much appreciated!**_

_That was probably the scariest Halloween ever…_

_okay so maybe I exaggerated a bit about the horror part, and this story isn't as scary as you'd hoped. But I'm sure Edgeworth might beg to differ..._

_Please review and tell me what you thought._

_"**Sexy and I Know it" by LMFAO. Copyright Interscope Records.**_


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